30 Questions You Need To Ask Yourself Before You Die

I woke up this morning and my life clock marked 30. My first sleep-deprived idea was to pack a small suitcase, get on the first train, move to another country, change my name, change my hair color (or get plastic surgery if needed), and start from scratch. When I don’t know how to deal with life, I sometimes hide. Other times, I fight.

By now, I’m good at both fighting and disappearing. I’m old enough to be acquainted with life’s darkest and most elevated places, and young enough to take more. But there’s no merit to either, fighting or flying, if they don’t come as a result of one’s deepest truth. When fueled by fear both responses are cowardly, both are equally wrong.

So after I washed my face and considered the costs of running and those of fighting, I decided not to do either. I started contemplating a third alternative.

I decided to re-evaluate the meaning of life and knock on doors I don’t have a key for, to come up with 30 questions that we should all ask ourselves before we die. Many of us get to 30, 40, 50 or beyond spending our entire lives as strangers to ourselves.

1. How much have you loved? Count the people. When it comes to love, I’ve been so focused on the minuses, I have no idea how to answer this; and these minuses are all based on not-enoughness. So if you’re in the red too, let’s put the ball back in our court. How much have you loved? Have you loved even when it hurts, when you can’t, when you shouldn’t, when you wouldn’t, when you didn’t? If so, you’re richer than you feel.




2. What do you love doing that you aren’t doing? Furthermore, how could you get paid for doing what you love? Let’s brainstorm. It’s your right to be alive every second of the day. You’re not supposed to spend eight hours in chains and the remaining four getting high on mental and physical distraction to cope with the depression of not doing what you should, what you want, what you need to be doing.




3. What person or type of person would you choose as a life companion? A witness to your life? Forget the shoulds, the can’ts, the won’ts, the impossibles. Who would you love and who would love you back if you could have a say in it? Cause see, your say in this makes all the difference. When you say your dreams out loud, you turn on the engine. It’s like this whole life is waiting to come rushing out of you and in wishing it — out loud — you open the gates and give it permission to happen.




4. Where do you want to live? Are you happy with your life where you are? Could you be happier somewhere else? It’s true that you can be home wherever you are. But it’s also true that some places are more in tune with the kind of life that comes bursting out of you. There’s nothing more inspiring and motivating than good company and an environment that reflect and support your mission.




(MORE: Is Your Hometown a Place to Grow Old? Mine Is)

5. What do you want to accomplish? And most important, why — what’s your motivation? Be unrealistic. Life itself is unrealistic.

6. What do you want to be remembered by? Write it down. This is the man/woman who _______________. Take your time. 




7. What kind of life would make you jealous? And why? If you could start over, what would your life look like, right now? (Psst … Don’t let your doubts in on this yet – they’re gonna’ ruin everything.)




8. What adventures do you want to have? Can you list five? Adventures aren’t just for children — or maybe the 10-year-old in us never dies. And it’s that inner child that really loves and lives life for what it is: the greatest adventure in the universe.




9. If you had to add something to humanity, what would your contribution be? List at least one thing. The world doesn’t owe you. You owe the world. The good news is that whatever the answer to this question, you’ll enjoy doing it.

10. What are your ghosts? Your unspoken demons? The stuff you keep in your closet under a lock? What are you most deeply afraid of? Say it out loud. Get real with yourself. It’s how you conquer them.




11. What are your favorite memories? Can you picture four or five instances in your childhood you are fond of? What’s the common denominator that lies at the core of them? There is usually only one or two life-altering statements that come up when you dig. How can you transform your current experiences so they begin with that same idea?




12. Who do you love the most? What 10 people would you put on a lifeboat in case of a universal tsunami, asteroid or any other realistic end-of-the-world event? Make a list. You can have a million friends on Facebook, but at the end of the day, you’re lucky if you can find 10 people you would die for and who would die for you. Email them as soon as you can. Remind them that if the world ends tomorrow, they’d be on your lifeboat.
 


13. What worries you the most? Worry comes from fear. And most fear is imaginary. So what are you worried about?

14. What type of people inspire you and make you come alive? What people at this point in your life add to the truest equation of you? Reach out to them, get closer, “touch” them, spend time with them, be around them. Aliveness is the one virus you always need to catch.  




(MORE: How to Break Up With a Friend)

15. What type of people bring you down and make you hate yourself? Break up with them. Today. It’s not rejection, it’s just selection. You must not invest your love in people who don’t want it and who use it to deplete you. 
Love is the most elevated, beautiful transaction between two creatures. But it’s still a transaction. You are responsible for your heart’s investments.



16. Who are your mentors? What have they taught you? Can you make a list? If you know them personally, thank the writers, thinkers, teachers, people who’ve shown you the way. You owe them a mention on your lips and in your heart; and you must pay the inspiration forward. It’s contagious and fuels you.

17. What is your cosmic elevator pitch? Not your job description, professional bio, resume, About page. In short, who are you – raw, unedited, wild, ordinary and extraordinary you?

18. What issues can you help with? We’re in trouble as a planet, as a species, as a global community and as individuals. If you want to live here, you need to pay the toll of helping out. Don’t worry, others will help clean your mess, too. It’s how it goes with humans. They mirror each other, for better or worse.




19. How can you express yourself creatively? Starting with the belief that we are all creative animals by nature, what’s your medium? Art of any kind speaks directly to the heart. It doesn’t go through reason. You need to speak Art if you want to understand Heart. So pick a medium and start practicing.




20. How do you manage your time? What works for you? If you’re a mess, how can you get it together? Here are some creative tips on productivity. Can you make a schedule, write down your routine (to help you stick to it), come up with a productivity credo of some sort?




21. If you were to leave the world today, what is your manifesto? What would you tell your children if you were forced to abandon them unexpectedly? Tell them what you would want them to know about you now.

22. What makes you come alive? What ignites you? What makes you forget time, and space, and love, and food and water and even why – if taken to extreme? As Bukowski put it, “Find out what you love and let it kill you.” (Or resurrect you.)




23. What are your most painful memories? Are you still replaying them in your mind and using them as an excuse to fuel your fear of getting hurt again? Do you think they might be keeping you from trusting your heart again?

24.
 Why do you eat the way you eat and the things you eat? What do you think you should eat that you’re not eating – and why? What can you put in your body that gives you pleasure and also respects and nourishes it? If you don’t know, find out. You can’t honor life if you don’t eat what cultivates it.  




25. What ignites your brain? Can you add more of that to your everyday life? Get smarter? Train your brain? Evolve? Don’t waste your precious time on meaningless entertainment that numbs your mind and makes you smaller. 




26. What physical exercise makes you sweat like you mean it and enjoy both the process and the feeling afterward? If you’re not currently practicing it, can you read more about it, surround yourself with people who practice it, sign up for a class, do whatever will motivate you to take it on?

27. What does your body need in order to function at its best? Can you make a list of what makes you feel healthiest and function optimally and try to practice it every day? If you’re not sure, start experimenting.

28. What feeds your spirit? What gives you goosebumps? What makes you fall down to your knees in awe? Is it God? Religion? The universe? Science? Starry nights? Music? Art? Animals? Whatever it is, it should surpass your understanding — there is no awe without mystery.



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29. What are you proud of so far? What have you accomplished? Don’t compare yourself to others. There will always be someone who’s done “more” and some who’s done “less.” But what can you, at this point in your life (your circumstances, your reality), give yourself a hug for? Do it.



30. 
Fast-forward to your epitaph. What does it say? As a place-holder, let’s paraphrase Jack Kerouac: “They lived and loved and asked, blessed and adventured … and they weren’t sorry.”


So, what is the meaning of life?

Being able to sit with it and realize that you’re rich because you have a universe inside you that you can reach at any given moment.

Your world is constantly being created through you and there is no meaning outside of you that won’t take your deepest, greatest truth in consideration. Skip love, money or fame if they don’t come as a result of your life-driving truth – they’re the roof to your inner house, and to add a roof you must first discover, understand and create that house. If you don’t know where to start building, just ask.

Why Nicotine Is So Addictive

When someone says a substance is addictive, they can mean two separate things.

Physically addictive, more accurately physically dependent, is when your body begins to depend on the presence of a particular substance for its physical well being. It’s begun compensating its normal processes to adjust for the new artificial normal.

The sudden absence of that substance won’t allow enough time for the body to compensate without the substance. The result will be withdrawal symptoms like nausea, vomiting, chest pains, head and body aches, seizures, uncontrolled body sweats, and shortness of breath.

Alcohol is a great example. If you don’t normally consume it, and then all of a sudden decide to drink like a college student on spring break, your body would be unable to compensate for the sudden influx of booze and you will get nauseated, most likely puke, could have seizures, become unconscious and potentially stop breathing.

The same thing happens when you decide to go on a two-year-long spring break bender and then suddenly stop. The body, once again, is unable to compensate for what it considers abnormal.
Substances that are considered to be addictive, yet do not cause the physical withdrawal symptoms when suddenly stopped, tend to be classified as being psychologically addictive, not physically dependent. Meaning the person might still crave the substance, like a stereotypical fat cop does doughnuts, but won’t have to deal with the physical withdrawals that go along with other substances.

Gambling, high risk behaviors like bungee jumping and skydiving, or anything considered psychologically addictive, and yet doesn’t cause physical dependence, tend to stimulate the reward centers of the brain and cause the person to crave whatever action will cause further stimulation. Just try and ring a bell around Pavlov’s dogs and see if they don’t go a little crazy for the reward to come.

Nicotine, like other substances such as heroin, and alcohol, has been shown to cause some level of physical dependence as well as causing the cravings associated with being psychologically addicted. To understand why, let’s talk about what affects nicotine has on the body.

Nicotine is a natural substance produced by a family of plants known as Solanaceae or Nightshade. Dried tobacco leaves contain between .6-3% nicotine. The drug acts on what are known as nicotinic acetylcholine receptors (NCR’s) and affects two main areas of the body- one called the adrenal medulla, and the other affects the central nervous system (CNS).

Inside of the CNS, nicotine binds to those NCR’s and causes the release of several “feel-good” neurotransmitters like dopamine.

Tobacco smoke also contains several substances known as monoamine oxidase inhibitors (MAO). MAO’s enzymes are responsible for breaking down “feel-good” neurotransmitters like dopamine, serotonin, and norepinephrine. The result is more of these neurotransmitters circulating than would otherwise be. When you smoke tobacco, nicotine is able to begin acting on these receptors within about 7 seconds and has a half life of around 2 hours. This sudden reward pathway is one of the reasons some people think nicotine cravings are so intense.

Inside of your adrenal medulla (and several other areas of the body) by binding to NCR’s, nicotine will cause an increase in the amount of calcium that is infused into your cells. The result is a release of the hormone epinephrine (adrenaline). This will cause an increase in your blood pressure, heart rate, respiratory rate, and blood sugar levels. The stuff “adrenaline-junkie” dreams are made of!
One of the under-talked about problems with nicotine is it’s toxicity. NCR’s will increase the amount of neurotransmitter released in response to the amount of nicotine present. The more nicotine in your system, the more toxic the reaction. The average amount of absorbed nicotine in a cigarette is about 1mg. At those levels, all the feel good centers of the brain are working like a charm. The higher the dose, the more unwanted the reaction. Things like nausea, vomiting, abdominal pain, headaches, muscle spasms will progress into seizures, low blood pressures, respiratory failure, and finally around 40-60 milligrams, it will kill you.

The physical and psychological addictive properties of nicotine revolve around your body compensating for these increases in neurotransmitters and hormones. When you stop taking in nicotine the body begins compensating by either increasing or decreasing their release. The end result is the body trying to continue adjusting for nicotine in your system. AKA, withdrawals.
Physical withdrawals with nicotine are considered to be much more mild than withdrawals from other drugs like heroin, alcohol, and methamphetamine’s. Depending on the length of time and amount of nicotine used, the symptoms will vary in intensity and length. They usually begin around 2-3 hours after the last nicotine ingestion and peak at around 2-3 days. The symptoms include anxiety, depression, trouble sleeping, drowsiness, headaches, increased appetite, problems concentrating and feelings of restlessness and frustration. Once the body is able to begin secreting the correct amount of neurotransmitters and hormones to deal with your nicotine-free existence, the remaining addiction tends to be psychological and revolves around cravings.

The psychologically mediated factors around nicotine addiction are thought to be more responsible than the physical factors in the difficulty in becoming nicotine-free. In several withdrawal symptom studies, participants quitting smoking continually listed cravings as the thing having the most negative affects when trying to quit. While most listed physical side effects as an issue, it was the cravings that had more of an impact on them relapsing. Curse you Pavlov! So the physical side effects in this case are typically gone within several days after one’s last nicotine ingestion, but cravings can sometimes last for years.
So, in the end, the higher the dose, the greater the chance of toxic side effects. The more you use it, the greater chance you have of getting cancer, heart disease, stroke, and diabetes. If you do get these diseases and you continue smoking, the greater chance you will have of dying from them. So, needless to say, if you’re a smoker, there are probably few things you can do for yourself that will benefit your long term well-being, and the happiness of those who love you, more than quitting smoking or using other tobacco products, as difficult as that stopping can be. If you happen to also be overweight and a smoker, then whew, you’ve got your work cutout for you. But in the end, fixing both of those problems, hopefully including a healthy dose of regular exercise and eating lots of veggies and fruit with the fix, will be well worth it for your quality and length of life, and will even save you a boatload of money with fewer medical bills and saving the cost of cigarettes and the like.

Try Osho's Stretegy To Stress-free life: Alone At Last!

Confronting oneself in aloneness is fearful and it is painful, and one has to suffer it. Nothing should be done to avoid it, nothing should be done to divert the mind and nothing should be done to escape from it. One has to suffer it and go through it. This suffering and this pain is just a good sign that you are near a new birth, because every birth is preceded by pain. It cannot be avoided and it should not be avoided because it is part of your growth.

But why is this pain there?

This should be understood because understanding will help you to go through it, and if you go through it knowingly you will come out of it more easily and sooner.

Why is there pain when you are alone? The first thing is that your ego gets ill. Your ego can exist only with others. It has grown in relationship, it cannot exist alone. So if the situation is one in which it can exist no more, it feels suffocated; it feels just on the verge of death. This is the deepest suffering. You feel as if you are dying. But it is not you who is dying, only the ego, which you have taken to be yourself, with which you have become identified. It cannot exist because it has been given to you by others. It is a contribution. When you leave others you cannot carry it with you.

So in aloneness all that you know about yourself will fall; by and by it will disappear. You can prolong your ego for a certain period – and that too you will have to do through imagination – but you cannot prolong it for long. Without society you are uprooted; the soil is not there from where to get food. This is the basic pain.

You are no longer sure who you are: you are just a dispersing personality, a dissolving personality. But this is good, because unless this false you disappears the real cannot emerge. Unless you are completely washed and become clean again the real cannot emerge.

This false you is occupying the throne. It must be dethroned. By living in solitariness all that is false can go. And all that is given by society is false. Really, all that is given is false; all that is born with you is real. All that is you by yourself, not contributed by someone else, is real, authentic. But the false must go and the false is a great investment. You have invested so much in it; you have been looking after it so much; all your hopes hang on it. So when it starts dissolving you will feel fearful, afraid and trembling: What are you doing to yourself? You are destroying your whole life, the whole structure.

There will be fear. But you have to go through this fear; only then will you become fearless. I don’t say you will become brave, no. I say you will become fearless.

Bravery is just part of fear. Howsoever brave you are, the fear is hidden behind. I say fearless. You will not be brave; there is no need to be brave when there is no fear. Both bravery and fear become irrelevant. They are both aspects of the same coin. So your brave men are nothing but you standing on your head. Your bravery is hidden within you and your fear is on the surface; their fear is hidden within and their bravery is on the surface. So when you are alone you are very brave. When you think about something you are very brave, but when a real situation comes you are fearful.

One becomes fearless only when one has gone through the deepest fear of all – that is the dissolving of the ego, the dissolving of the image and the dissolving of the personality.

This is death because you don’t know if a new life is going to emerge from it. During the process you will know only death. Only when you are dead as you are, as the false entity, only then will you know that death was just a door to immortality. But that will be at the end; during the process you are simply dying.

Everything that you cherished so much is being taken away from you – your personality, your ideas, all that you thought was beautiful. All is leaving you. You are being denuded. All the roles and robes are being taken away. In the process fear will be there, but this fear is basic, necessary and inevitable – one has to pass through it. You should understand it but don’t try to avoid it, don’t try to escape from it because every escape will bring you back again. You will move back into the personality.

Those who go into deep silence and solitude, they always ask me, “There will be fear, so what to do?” I tell them not to do anything, just to live the fear.

If trembling comes, tremble. Why prevent it? If an inner fear is there and you are shaking with it, shake with it. Don’t do anything. Allow it to happen. It will go by itself. If you avoid it ...and you can avoid it. You can start chanting Ram, Ram, Ram; you can cling to a mantra so that your mind is diverted. You will be pacified and the fear will not be there; you have pushed it into the unconscious. It was coming out – which was good, you were going to be free from it – it was leaving you and when it leaves you, you will tremble.

That is natural because from every cell of the body and of the mind, some energy that has always been there pushed down is leaving. There will be a shaking and a trembling; it will be just like an earthquake. The whole soul will be disturbed by it. But let it be. Don’t do anything. That is my advice. Don’t even chant. Don’t try to do anything with it because all that you can do will again be suppression. Just by allowing it to be, by letting it be, it will leave you – and when it has left, you will be altogether a different man.

Osho, The Book of Secrets, Talk #70